Motivation...sometimes I have it and sometimes I don't...you feeling me?? You know those days when you know you have something big looming on the horizon and you honestly are just dreading it big time?? That was me this morning. I usually try to do my long run on the weekend, but because of things going on this weekend I opted to do it today....and I was dreading it....and here's why:
First of all, while I'm posting on this blog I'm going to be honest with my feelings...post how I'm feeling at the moment. That being said, I have to honestly say I have been struggling with the thought of doing this half marathon the last couple days. I know my last couple runs, though good runs, they weren't great. I struggled...and I think my main problem was and is going to be more wrestling with myself than anything else. When I signed up for the Cap City Half Marathon I was really excited. Now that I've officially started training, I'm half scared and wondering if I can pull this off. I know some of you are thinking, "whatever", but when I struggle to get through a 4 mile run, the thought of pulling out another 9+ miles is daunting to say the least. Forward to today's run....I was struggling to get out the door. Though it was cold out and a little windy this morning, (27 degrees at 10:00 a.m.) the sun was shining bright, yet I literally was dragging my feet. But I finally got out there...I decided to go my normal "long run route" and to be honest those first 2.5 miles were tough...for me those first miles usually are. But I trudged through and kept going...though I was keeping a pretty decent pace even though I felt as if I wasn't. It wasn't until I hit about mile 4 that I started to feel "Ok, I can get through this." That's where in my opinion MUSIC MATTERS!! I almost always run with my iPod and play some sort of motivating music to get me going. Today, at mile four, my motivating song was "Running Down A Dream" by Tom Petty. I started picturing in my head running the half marathon....chasing that dream. I got caught up in the music...before I knew it I was making my third lap around the campground. Was doing pretty good by this point. I knew there was a pretty big hill ahead...next motivational song to come on, "Renegade" by Daughtry...got up the hill and around with no problem...was feeling good at this point and into a groove...this is about mile 5 - 6.5 at this point. My last motivational song was "Eye On It" by TobyMac....my new powersong...love this song! If you listen to the lyrics, it is the PERFECT running song. This got me through mile 7.5...after that I could tell I was struggling. I began praying hard at this point because I was roughly about another mile and a half away from home. I prayed and ran...I told myself that if I could get to a certain spot I would allow myself to stop...I made it slightly past that spot and was hoping to go a little farther, but I had to stop for traffic and just didn't have it in me to start up again. I had to walk approximately another half to three quarters mile home...longest walk ever. But I was able to make it home....now guzzling lots of water and a Vita Coco to hopefully ward off any muscle soreness tomorrow.
Needless to say, despite the fact that I really didn't want to go out there and I was dreading it I was able to (with God's help of course) pull off a nine mile run...no stopping...which is honestly a God thing because lately I've been struggling to get through a simple 5K without stopping. Maybe it's being outside instead of inside...who knows. Fact is, I made it...and if I just push myself and talk positive over the negative, play some really good motivating music, and ask God for help when I desperately need it...this half marathon can become a reality. It's just going to take time, practice, diligence and honestly....a little smidge of insanity. My motto I've told my husband is, "There is a fine line between dedication and insanity". Here's hoping I don't go too insane these next few months.
Have a great weekend all!